Example of Past Life Trauma Causing Problems with Relationship

David had great problems finding nice women to date. He always chose to date women who he was sure are not “marriage material.” In EMT, we found out it was related to a traumatic past lifetime in England in the 18th century. Strangely enough, even though David declared that he did not believe in past lives, when we started checking for where the trauma occurred, he immediately said “England.” He did not know where this knowledge came to him. He said it was just a lucky guess. Yet, he again “guessed” he was a woman in that lifetime and that the trauma was related to fire. He did not see anything in his mind’s eye, just said these things. When this was confirmed with muscle testing, he could no longer explain it as a guess. He then stated it was “intuition.” I explained all the knowledge of past lifetimes held in the Akashic records were totally available to his innate/higher self. We proceeded with muscle testing to get more details and between the information for EMT and David’s “intuition,” we found out that David was a woman in that lifetime. After her marriage and having three children, she found out that her husband was homosexual, and he left her alone, as he traveled with his lover. David was totally exhausted between working to put bread on the table and taking care of the kids, that one night he fell asleep while a candle was still burning. The house caught fire, and David and the kids died in the fire. Here again, we can see how much easier this technique is over hypnotic regression. As even though we discovered the essential details of the trauma, David had only fleeting visions with no emotional or physical pain. “Trauma in England, 18th century” – weak muscle. “I want to release the trauma” – weak muscle. “I deserve to release the trauma” – weak muscle. “My husband deserves for me to release the trauma” – weak muscle. “His lover deserves for me to release the trauma” – strong muscle. “God deserves for me to release the trauma” – strong muscle. “It is safe for me to release the trauma” – weak muscle. David stated it made total sense to him that he blamed himself for causing the fire, that he blamed his then-husband for abandoning him, leaving him alone with the kids without any financial support; and, of course, it was dangerous for him to release the trauma. He was afraid that should he release the trauma he would be exposed to the danger that he would again marry the wrong person and...

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7 Reasons You’re Dating The Wrong Person
Aug04

7 Reasons You’re Dating The Wrong Person

My interview on Web Talk Radio’s Relationship Revelation with Larry Bilotta on Subconscious Sabotage to Relationship. (plus transcript below) Read the Transcript Larry Bolata: Imagine for the next sixty seconds that you can sort out and virtually eliminate every problem in your most important relationships. Happiness ultimately depends on the quality of our relationships, but it can fall apart when you don’t really understand people. Remember this, there are only three relationships on earth: intimate, social and work; yet we keep making the same relationship mistakes while we keep hoping for a different result. I am Larry Bolata and I am here to show you an easier way to understand people than what you have been led to believe. People are not as complicated as you thought, and there are easier ways to interact with them that would take the stress out of your most difficult relationships. That’s why every week my guest and I will give you the tools and understanding to improve your intimate, your social and your work relationships. I invite you to spend the next sixty minutes with me on Relationship Revelation Radio, since I’ve defined the word revelation as ‘a dramatic disclosure of something not previously known or realized. Since relationships literally make our life or break it, let’s explore what you haven’t known or realized about relationships on Relationship Revelation Radio. Larry Bolata: Her book is titled “The First Key” and she has taught people how to discover what she calls subconscious sabotage. This is…an excellent term, subconscious sabotage. You know, if you’re listening to any of my shows, if you’ve heard the interviews of authors…in the relationship world that I have done you’re going to hear them say over and over again some form of, you know, the behavior is subconscious. There talking about people not knowing what they’re doing, and on these shows you’ve heard me ask them the question, “Why are so many people unaware of why they do what they do?” And the answer from the authors are always comes back that it’s down to the subconscious. That means they are not clearly awake to what is happening to them and they’re not aware of their subconscious; and that’s why I’m interviewing Dr. Daphna Slonim today on the Relationship Revelation, here on webtalkradio.net and I am Larry Bolata, and I want you to learn what Dr. Slonim can…explain to you here. She has a way to uncover the sabotaging system that is in this place called the subconscious. And now…you know, why is it so valuable that you learn this this thing we’re going to talk about toady? It’s...

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The Naked Truth About Dating – on WebTalk Radio
Jul25

The Naked Truth About Dating – on WebTalk Radio

I was recently featured on WebTalk Radio where I discussed Self Sabotage in Dating Life. You can hear the show here. If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment.

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Do You Sabotage Finding True Love?
Jul02

Do You Sabotage Finding True Love?

Relationship is a complex subject and can be sabotaged on all levels. Let’s start in the very beginning, meaning the choice of a life partner. It is not a surprise that our parents and their marriage have a huge influence upon our choices. You often can see that a person tends to choose a life partner that either has the same characteristics as their father, their mother, or both. Or s/he has the opposite characteristics. Psychologists call it “Repetition Compulsion”. So, for example a woman will chose a husband who is abusive and alcoholic like her father or someone who is aloof and emotionally unavailable as her mother. The common interpretation is that this type of relationship, following the parents’ roll model is familiar and therefore comfortable and feels safe. Another explanation is that there is an ongoing hope and need to use the spouse as a parent substitute, and to change the pattern of abuse and emotional neglect. There is an illogical presumption that if successful it would compensate or even change the past. In my years of practice I worked with many patients who had this pattern. Women finally divorced their abusive addicting husbands only to marry another version of it. The men who seemed to be kind and nurturing showed their true face a short time after the marriage. After the third or fourth marriage these women finally become aware that maybe they have some type of subconscious sabotage that is subconsciously choosing for them what they, intuitively know to be true: an abusive partner.  Now, being exhausted and disappointed they are ready to look at the sabotage and release it. When I worked with Emily, her muscle tested weak for “I deserve to marry a kind man”. It became apparent that as a child, being abused Emily assumed that she was abused because she was a bad child and she deserved to be abused.  I explained to her that this is a very common phenomenon. When you are dependent upon another person for your survival, you have to believe that this person is benevolent. This is a matter of life and death. It is especially true with children who are totally dependent upon the parents. Thus, if a child is abused or neglected they become convinced that they are not good enough and don’t deserve better. So, Emily held the subconscious belief she did not deserve to be treated with kindness. Once we removed this form of self sabotage Emily was finally freed from her “Repetition Compulsion” and was able to find and marry a gentle supportive and nurturing...

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Money and Marriage
Mar12

Money and Marriage

A lot of women have the expectation that their husbands should be like their fathers and be excellent providers and allow them to have the extravagant lifestyle that they are accustomed to.  They spend as much money as their husband gives them, and it is never enough.  This creates a lot of resentment from the husband, who may not be as rich as the father, and even if he is, he may have a different attitude towards money.  He may be more of a saver, coming from a fear of more difficult times ahead or just in order to build a nice investment account in order to have passive income. A spouse who is having a different attitude about spending money could be a continuous source of resentment, anger, and even fights among the couples.  So, an open discussion about how to spend the family income is in order.  The worst possible thing is to avoid talking and addressing the subject.  Fights about money are frequently the cause of divorce. The most important thing is to first do inventory and find out how much money is spent on necessities:  mortgage, insurances, groceries, etc.  Then, based on the income, the couple needs to discuss how much they agree to save.  The best would be to do it as an automatic order of a certain amount of money going into a swing account, IRA, DRIP, brokerage account, etc.  So, this money for them does not exist.  They have to manage with what is left. In my practice, I often do couples therapy.  The most frequent issues that come up in therapy are money and sex, in that order.  A lot of times these are connected, as in the most ancient trade in the world – sex is being given for money or expensive jewelry and/or other luxuries.  And, on the contrary, sex is being withheld by both partners, as a punishment by a resentful spouse.  Sometimes it is done consciously and intentionally.  Sometimes it is done unconsciously, as some kind of subconscious sabotage.  Sometimes fights about money issues bring the couple to estrangement and distance and affects intimate relationships in an indirect way. Love is blind, and when you fall in love, you become addicted to your partner.  You have no or little impulse control; you feel on top of the world; you want to impress your lover; you feel invulnerable.  This is dangerous, as you are tempted to spend thousands of dollars on gifts, and you want to spoil your sweetheart.  You want to show them your love, and you don’t look at budgeting.  Our society is a consumer society,...

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Let’s Talk About Relationship

Do You Sabotage Your Relationship? And how many times do we run into problems at home and divorce is imminent? Well you don’t have to get divorced. The problem may have nothing to do with your husband or your wife. The problem may very well be from what you are carrying with you from your past that you are acting out today. Let’s talk about Eli Eli, a 40-year-old man, came to me because his wife was about to divorce him. They had been married happily for three years and felt they had a strong relationship, yet, Eli would often have rage attacks against his wife when she did not respond to him right away. When we checked: “My mother deserves for me to get better,” there was a weak muscle response. Eli did not understand why. It did not make sense to him. He loved his mother. Eli did not remember any childhood trauma but muscle testing showed that he was abandoned by his mother between the age of 2 and 3. Eli still did not remember anything traumatic from that age. But his mother told him that at age 2 ½ when she gave birth to his sister, she had complications, and she had to stay in the hospital for two weeks. Eli realized that his marital problems had nothing to do with his wife. It all came from the past. So, every time he called his wife, and she was delayed in answering, Eli, subconsciously felt abandoned by his mother, and it triggered a response temper tantrum of a 2 year old, totally out of proportion. He was not yelling at his wife. He was yelling at his mom. The question is: are you raging at the people you are with, or are you raging at someone in the past. The way to find out- The First Key. So, whether it is relationship, investments, weight, health, or sexual performance, the issues you are having are probably a result of subconscious sabotage, and the good news is YOU CAN FIX...

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